10 steps to prevent the destruction of cohabitation / Why should not we fight in front of children?

Family group – Zohreh Saeedi: Love and maintenance after marriage is not a complicated issue, it is enough like keeping socks, winter clothes that we put in the bag and our sheets, and do not forget about loneliness and dirt on it every year, and work is not done when We shook it, so that the turbidity and dirt can no longer be removed.

So if you do not take care of it and keep it, it will be easily destroyed and your life will be in danger. It is not that a successful life together has no ambiguities or problems, both people who get married sometimes face challenges due to differences in tastes and even make mistakes in their relationships, but the problem is that you can resolve differences. Reduce and reach agreement and satisfaction with each other.

There are mistakes and cases that if you do not pay attention to them, the foundations of your life together will easily weaken, so you should know them and do not think that you do not need, know that everyone needs education and awareness for a successful life, especially in today’s world. Everything is different from the past, so it is not possible to maintain a life like the past.

1- Fights in the presence of children

One of the irreparable things that can happen to a child is to fight in front of them. You may forget everything after a minute or a few days, but what happened will certainly not be easily erased from your children’s psyche, and the children will surely think that one of you is a victim and the other is a tyrant, and will take a stand against oppression. And can not imagine the challenges that can be eliminated. So any issue between you should be between you and do not occur in the presence of children until they are not present.

There are a wide range of cases that require a separate report, such as crying in front of children and asking them for help, getting help, complaining about your spouse to your children, and in the meantime sacrificing your children in your relationships. .

2. Insult and obscenity

Unfortunately, many people can not control themselves due to lack of control and regulation of emotions when upset and angry, and insult their spouse and family. It will hurt in life. Instead of swearing and insulting his wife and family, it is better to leave the place in case of upset so that the atmosphere calms down and then you can talk to each other.

Now, someone might say that some things make people very upset and it is not easy to get out of the heart, it is definitely the case, you can show at these times whether you are a controllable person or not. It is better to take time and complain in the best situation instead of destroying your spouse’s personality.

3. Back to the past

Some people have a morality that when the upset or the occurrence of a dispute, they go back to the past and say everything that upset them from the past, and twice a day again and again.

A woman said that my wife is a complex, whenever any problem arises, she remembers the engagement period when my father was strict and allowed us to see each other less. Instead of understanding his wife’s family situation and knowing that it has nothing to do with his wife at all, this man still bites and insults his wife after years of marriage, and unfortunately this weakens the emotional relations between the wives. Time goes by and eats the building of life like a termite.

4. Threat of divorce

Some spouses are also accustomed to eating taqi taqi, as the saying goes, carrying suitcases or going to their father’s house, or threatening to divorce, or saying dowry. All of this creates turbidity that is either impossible or impossible to clear. Some conversations and words are irrelevant, and when they are struck, they are repeated and diminish the spouses’ emotions, such as whenever you argue, you pay your dowry, or you separate from your spouse. How does he think of himself? Does he think you still love him for talking about threatening divorce and other things?

Another person in the counseling room said that his wife kept telling him that whatever happened, I would inform my father and brother so that they could fuck Rosgart! You see the kind of literature for yourself. You can continue living with this kind of literature, and can you live in the place of this lady’s wife? Definitely everyone says tell your father and brother to come and determine the task! Try to control yourself when you are upset and focus only on the position you are discussing, without talking about divorce and other issues.

If you feel that your life is at a standstill and you think you can not continue, contact a family counselor without threatening to divorce the other party and ask him or her to be with you in counseling to solve your problems as much as possible.

5. Ending a dispute without end

One of the most frequent cases between couples who have a lot of differences with each other is that they close the door of conversation and these differences are piled on top of each other and their quarrels are constantly escalating. It is better to talk as much as possible during an argument, even if you are upset, to express all your frustration without insulting each other, rather than leave the argument and the other party is constantly in trouble and he What to do for this life.

6. Do not sacrifice yourself

These sacrifices are usually for women, who easily give up everything and interests in life and only play the role of husband, constantly supporting their husband to be a perfect partner, so the demands They forget themselves. Generally, these women are full of unbridled anger that makes them suffer from all kinds of diseases.

Every couple has their own rights, the duties of being a spouse, a parent, a daughter or son of another family, as well as being an influential person in the community are all roles that give people energy. None should be sacrificed to the other.

7. Do not forget your expectations from your spouse

This famous phrase “whatever you say” is a marriage for the honeymoon and can not always continue. Each couple has expectations of each other that must be met.

So you need to talk to each other. If you have an expectation from your spouse, state it clearly and without anger in the first place, even if you think your expectation is unreasonable, talk about it with your spouse and let him or her convince you.

8. Do not forget love

Some women, especially when they have children, lose interest in their husbands and forget to love their husbands. Love is one of the things that should be constantly reminded. There is no reason not to remind your spouse that you first loved him or her. Contrary to many people’s beliefs, men need love, care, and attention, and they do not feel happy without it.

9- Do not taunt

When you are upset or angry or fighting, do not say things that will always stay in your spouse’s mind. Never taunt your spouse and point out his or her weaknesses. We also talked about insulting the wife’s family. Losing confidence in your spouse hurts both of you. If you think you are not in control enough, it is best to stay away from each other when you are angry. Also, keep in mind that some jokes may upset your spouse. If your spouse is overweight, you do not need to constantly remind him or her.

10. Be honest

Lying destroys any relationship, especially if they are together because it causes constant mistrust. Do not hide, and if you do, talk about it later and convince your spouse, if your spouse hid something from you and then talked about it or found out, it is better to listen to him and agree to hide something.

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