Marriage and familysocial

7 moments when children need peace / Do not get angry during these times


Family group – Zohreh Saeedi: All human beings, with different personality traits, are involved in the positive to negative experiences of their childhood. Even if they deny it, it still reflects their past circumstances, because it is all the behaviors of parents and the positive and negative events and experiences that shape their children’s future lives. Unfortunately, many parents’ unkindness and unkindness will cause their children to have negative experiences in adulthood and problems in social relationships to love and marriage.

Therefore, it is certain that childhood experiences affect the personality and behavior of people in adulthood, and parents should play their duties in this regard well in the childhood of their children. The cognitive, intellectual, and psychological capacities that God has placed in the infant’s nervous system become actual after birth, and the first few years of life are very important for any child, as will his or her personality and psyche in adulthood.

One psychological theorist believes that our instincts and desires are created in childhood and then build our adulthood, so humans try to achieve the dreams they created in childhood, and in fact, adulthood is a continuation of childhood experiences. .

Therefore, parents should be aware that there are vital moments in their children’s childhood that children need to feel more calm and secure during these times, and parents should not be angry or aggressive during these times. Here are some examples of these critical times:

1. When a child does not sleep at night for fear

The mother and father at this time when the child may have had a nightmare in the dream or for any reason scared, instead of getting angry and telling the child: Go to sleep! You always make me sleepy, you do not want me to sleep for a minute and you messed me up! Be by his side so that he can sleep peacefully and never leave your child alone at this time because he feels insecure and lonely. At this time, hold her hand and caress her and tell her you are by her side until she falls asleep.

2. When he has done something wrong and loses his limbs

Children make many trials and errors in childhood that many parents have little flexibility to do. Or if the child breaks an appliance, he will be reprimanded. In such cases, it is better to take his hand and try to do the right thing together, instead of saying: You started again, what a clumsy situation, you break all the tools. For example, if he is drawing, help him to hold the pencil correctly and it has coloring.

3. When you return from work

Some parents who come home do not pay attention to their children and only do housework or watching TV with discomfort and stress, without noticing that the children also have needs. For example, your child comes to you to watch a program or do something together. Instead of saying, “Go tired, I’m not bored,” he said. This is the best way. Your child, along with playing and laughing, relieves tiredness and changes your mood. Otherwise, he always remembers that a parent is always bored and tired that when he comes home from work, the children have to run away and go to their room so that they do not get angry.

4. When he is scared

One of the times when children definitely need security is when they are afraid of things or anything, many parents do not pay attention to this and some of these fears become special phobias for them in adulthood. If you see your child when he is scared of something, hug him and say that you understand that he is scared, but you are by his side and there is no reason to be scared. You create a sense of security in him that you are always by his side.

5. When he has returned from school or kindergarten

When children return from school or kindergarten, they tend to experience the positive emotions of their parents and need comfort. So instead of telling your child: What did you do today? It is better to hug him and tell him: Did you have a good day today?

6. When we are very busy with the phone

These days, it is common for parents to become so engrossed in mobile phones that they forget they have a child to take care of. Sometimes children come to you but you reject them because you are drowning in the phone! At times like this, instead of saying I’m busy now, it ‘s better to put down the phone and hug your child and say: You are the most important and valuable person in my life, baby! Otherwise, children will feel like a few hands in your life that if you have nothing to do, you will pay attention to them, while children should know that they are a priority. In this case, they themselves will give priority to you and their loved ones in adulthood.

7. When he has just woken up in the morning

In these cases, instead of stressing the children too much to eat breakfast or get out of bed or go to school and kindergarten, it is better to go with them and talk to them gently. Caress your child and talk about your daily routine or one of the worst moments of their life will be waking up. Many mothers have this problem with their children. You can even be a child and sleep next to them, play with them and tickle them and jump on the bed together to wake them up with your play and love.

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