Audible narratives from 35 years of love life with a veteran / 28 seizures in one day

Life group; Atieh Akbari: 35 years of love life with a man who is a psychiatric veteran, with all the hardships and hardships, has made the life of a happy family talk. “Hassan Khosh Nazar” is known as a kind wave. The love life of this veteran family went so far that word of mouth went to the honeymoon program a few years ago and narrated their love stories in front of the national media camera. But we have a hard time saying and hearing. It is easy to hear, but difficult to understand for many of us who are impatient with the slightest misfortune in our lives. On Veterans Day, we were their guests to hear their life stories.

* Reminiscences of cousins ​​and cousins

They were cousins ​​and cousins, and since childhood, each other and this desire coincided with the beginning of the war. “Zahra Khoshnazar” flips through the book of their life story with Uncle Hassan without any introduction and says: “Hassan went to the front like his brothers and I waited for him to return. It was in 1962 that he was injured for the first time. After that, in two consecutive operations, a wave of explosions hit him and Hassan’s different life began from those days. He was hospitalized and I went to see him. His back was cracked. The doctors had given up on him and he was likely to be paralyzed. I was not more than 13 years old at the time, but God willing, Hassan would survive. I prayed that he would be paralyzed, but not a martyr. “From then on, I promised myself and him and God that if we were a part of it, I would stand by Hassan and follow Hassan.”

* The sermon is not over yet, I said yes

They still look at each other in love after more than 30 years of life. Hassan Khoshnazar continues the story of their lives; “We were supposed to get married, but we couldn’t.” I ask why? “Every day they brought us the news of the martyrdom of one of the young men in the family,” he says. At that time, there were no men in our homes at all. Everyone went to the front from the young follower. Our ceremony was delayed until my mother, on the evening of my 40th birthday, told me that I would marry you today. My wife was 15 at the time and I was 18. They did not register our contract. We were taken to court and a cleric asked Zahra some questions. He asked, “Does your father want to force you into a husband, or do you want to get married yourself?” He asked if he had a job and if he had not gone to the army, there was just a wave. He is going to the front again. Do you still want to marry him? “He said yes, because I really like him.” Zahra Khoshnazar continues: “Life with Hassan was sacred to me. I was so eager to live with him that Hajj Agha’s sermon was not over yet, I said yes! “Hajj Agha at the wedding table told me, ‘My daughter, wait for the sermon to end, then say yes!’

* Serving Hassan Agha is worship for me

The different life of a happy family started from the first days of marriage. When Hassan’s blast wave hit, he had occasional seizures. Zahra Khoshnazar says about those days: “Sometimes he had seizures 28 times a day and each time he had to be given a sedative. But these bitternesses were not hard for me and were as sweet as honey. Like many of the veteran’s wives, I could have taken him to the sanatorium, but I loved him madly and considered serving Hassan a worship. Problems were never hard for me. Hassan Agha was operated on several times. I tried to forget this issue with jokes and laughter and not be upset. I did not let him feel sorry for his illness. He was annoyed, but I never turned away from him. I always left his bed in the reception. The guest who came told us to take him to another room, but I did not accept. It is not a compliment, we should not be far from each other. I have to see him and he has to see me. I told the guests that everyone likes to come and not everyone likes to come. I do not expect anything from anyone and I do not complain. “I told them Hassan should be here.” I ask why Uncle Hassan is called a kind wave? “Every time he has a seizure, he just hits his own head and does not hurt others, which is why he is called a kind wave,” says Khoshnazar.

* Do not leave veterans alone / just a simple greeting

It was in 1990 that they operated on Hassan. After this operation, he was completely paralyzed. He could not even raise his hand to his mouth. His body was paralyzed and he could not walk. We installed steel pipes around the house to make it easier for him to move. These days when he says open these pipes, I say I want these to be so that I do not forget what days I spent and thank God every day for healing you. Ms. Zahra continues her speech by asking people to visit the veterans who are close to them and says: “Before we went to the honeymoon program, people did not know us and many did not even know that Hassan Agha is a psychiatric veteran, but now people We are kind, but my point is that many are like Uncle Hassan |, maybe they are worse off than him and now everyone has forgotten them. Do not leave the families of the veterans alone. “If you knew how much extra energy a simple visit would give them, you would definitely put it in your life plan.”

* Optimistic family charity

Despite all these circumstances, Hassan Agha’s worries and illnesses, the housewife is a good worker. He started a compact charity and tied the hands of homeless women. These days, Hassan’s good condition is a little better and he has less seizures. Uncle Hassan says in a pleasant and humorous voice: “I do not leave the house too much. “But I am helping the lady.” According to Ms. Khaneh, Uncle Hassan is a professional cook and a regular contributor to charity and is often helped, but says: “I do not like to go out too much. I am like a caveman and I can not stand all this change. I feel bad when I see a cartoon or a beggar. “I tremble when I see the unveiled.” Every year, with the help of charities, Zahra Khoshnazar blesses three or four young girls on their way home by giving dowries, and she has taken the hands of many.

* I envy my mother’s patience

We also went to the family girl. Somayeh Khoshnazar talks about her mother’s patience and childhood memories, all of which are tied to the memories of her father’s occasional seizures. Somayeh Khoshnazar says: “Sometimes my mother’s patience is unbelievable to me. Can a woman be so in love with her husband? My father has been sick since I opened my eyes and, as the saying goes, recognized my left and right hands. All my childhood memories are associated with my father’s seizures. We grew up together as a child with my mother’s patience and my parents’ love. I remember my father getting sick until Amir Hussein and I sat on his feet so that my mother could inform the neighbors and the closest men in the family to reach us. Because my father’s seizures were so severe that my mother could not control him alone. Sometimes he moved his legs so hard that Amir Hossein and I were thrown one meter away. We were crying. Our mother said come help, do not be upset. But in all those childhood memories, I never remember my mother raising an eyebrow. That is why I always try to be patient in my personal and social life in the face of the hardships of life like her, but it is not an easy task and now that I have 3 children, I am only jealous of my mother’s patience and my wish is to be like her one day. The young girls and women in the charity that my mother is in charge of always ask her to share her memories with them. “Optimistic Zahra is a model of stability not only for me but also for many young people.”

* We do not give bad news to our father

Sang is the patient father of the children. Like a solid support. Wherever there is trouble, it is the fathers who stand behind their children, but Uncle Hassan’s children have always been deprived of this paternal grace. Even if the grief of the world was in their hearts, the father should not have noticed anything, because he might have a seizure at any moment. “We experienced a different life and we should not have behaved like our peers,” says Amir Hussein Khoshnazar. In my childhood, mischief and climbing doors and walls made no sense. If the wind blew the door, my father would have a seizure. If you hear bad news, you will feel bad. Nevertheless, its existence is like a strong support for me. I can not imagine not one day. All our tiredness goes away when we see my parents’ love affairs. The lives of psychiatric veterans are not normal. “But the story of our lives is different from many, and we owe it to my mother’s patience and my parents’ love for each other.”

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