Consequences of arguing in front of children / Talk but not arguing!

Family group: Fighting and arguing in front of children is one of the topics that many parents should be sensitive and careful about. Psychological research has shown that shouting at parents while arguing in front of children increases cortisol (stress hormone) in children.

If these quarrels occur frequently, they may cause anxiety in children. In addition, children learn in a tense environment that screaming when angry is a normal behavior and may teach you an inefficient way to express their anger.

One of the worst side effects of living in a hostile environment for children is stress. Negative stress and living in a hostile family endanger the physical and mental health of children.

However, sometimes it happens that the parents lose control and they argue and fight in the presence of the child, what should be done in this situation to solve the children’s worries.

* The difference between dialogue and argument

First of all, we need to know that if we have a disagreement with our spouse about something, there is nothing wrong with talking about it in front of the children. This behavior is useful even for children because they learn that people can despite Whether they love each other or respect each other, have different opinions, in addition to modeling problem-solving methods.

But in any case, all parents should try as much as possible to avoid quarrels involving shouting or insults in the presence of children, and not to create a tense atmosphere even in conversations.

But it can still happen. Now the important point is that managing the feelings of children after seeing their parents’ fights is an issue that is very important and should be worked on and has key methods.

So to start, it is better to know that the dialogue: let go, the child remembers, is wrong and is forbidden!

** What to do if there is a fight?

The first step is to know that if there is a fight or argument and you can not control the situation, first it is important not to be afraid to be able to manage the situation after the fight. For example, after the first fight, do not think about these issues: “Are you a bad mom or a bad father?” These sentences are forbidden!

Remember that children do not have deep emotional problems when they see your fight once, and anxiety usually occurs after seeing repeated fights!

** Both talk to the child after the fight

If your child is over two years old, be sure to talk to him after seeing the fight and explain the situation to him. But remember to explain to him only at the level of his understanding and do not discuss the details and the subject. Never blame the other side of the discussion and do not grieve with the child about the topic of discussion or its discomfort.

One of the mistakes of mothers or fathers is that they sympathize with their children and blame the other party and make the child hate the other parent.

An important and correct conversation in this situation is to say, “Mom, are you scared?” You must be very upset. My father and I were angry, but we should not have shouted. I apologize for scaring you. “I want you to remember that we were angry right now, but we love each other very much and we are always watching over you.”

** Be more sensitive to your relationship and behavior in the presence of the child

Children are more sensitive to their behavior for a while after seeing their parents fight. The thought of not fighting again? Don’t they like each other? Don’t they want to separate?

As a result, try to show your utmost respect and love in behavior and words for a few days after the fight to restore and strengthen the children’s sense of security.

** Make an appointment with your spouse to prevent this from happening again

If you need to use a password between yourself, for example, if you feel that you or your spouse are angry, you can use a product password such as (now it’s time to have a cup of tea) or simply say: “Better about it later. talk.”

Ultimately, parents need to learn to respect each other and how to control and end their morals, behaviors, anger, and rage.

End of message /

You can edit this post