How not to train narcissists? / Parenting skills training

Family group: In recent years, many psychologists in the field of personality and social psychology have addressed the issue of “narcissism” and its increase in societies. Unfortunately, narcissism has become very common among today’s generation, and one social and historical theorist named Christopher Lash, who has done a lot of research on narcissism, has referred to this disorder as “the neurosis of the present age.”

Narcissists have many salient features, including being self-centered, not accepting anyone, having an unrealistic and false sense of self, and a kind of deep arrogance. Children are naturally self-centered in childhood, but in order for this axis to be adjusted in adulthood so that they do not have narcissistic disorder and personality disorder in old age, parents need to do something.

It may be interesting to know that shy children are more likely to develop narcissistic traits. The narcissistic adults are constantly in an internal conflict with themselves and harass others with their behavior. What is the role of parents in preventing the upbringing of happy children?

All parents like to have and raise a child with high self-esteem, but if the child’s self-esteem is not healthy, for example unrealistically high, or formed according to the wrong criteria, it may be in the path of raising a child. Be a narcissistic child!

A psychologist named Joseph Bargo, after years of clinical work and study of narcissists, realized a deep and inner feeling that is common to most narcissists, this is the interesting point we mentioned, and this feeling is the same as “shame”!

Most narcissistic children experience shame at various times in their lives, and sometimes the feeling is so great that these children are forced to live with a mask.

Mask “I am better, more worthy and more capable than others” and thus “deny” their inner shame, and of course, over time, they get used to the presence of this mask and one day deeply think that they are better, more deserving than others. And are more valuable.

* How does narcissism appear in children?

1. Children who bully in the school environment or in relation to other children.

2. Aggressive children who can not communicate well with others, especially other children, or constantly make friends.

3. Kids who are highly competitive and see their game or education as a competition.

* What can we do not to raise a narcissistic child?

1. Do not humiliate

Children have personality from the first day of birth and deserve as much respect as all adults, and even when you are angry with them or doing something bad, you should not embarrass them with insults or humiliation.

2. Do not be perfectionist

If you are a perfectionist, you believe that your child should always be satisfied with you, great behavior, excellent grades, amazing skills and other things that you approve of. But such features are not possible in any person. As a result, the child will be deeply ashamed to see your dissatisfaction.

3. Do not pay extreme attention

Attention during parenting is a positive and obligatory thing, but no child is woven separately. Provide a safe space for the child to know that you love and support him or her, but allow your child to experience failure as much as possible and provide a platform for his or her independence.

4. Do not condition your love and acceptance

It does not matter if your child has the best or the worst behavior, your attitude should always be such that your child knows that you love him under any circumstances and is always accepted by you and you just did not like his wrongdoing.

Finally, parents who have a child and are sensitive to the child not being narcissistic should pay more attention to the following:

Teach them to think slowly about others.

Teach children to empathize with the suffering of others.

– Try to take care of the health of their loved ones.

Teach children that it is ugly to make fun of, threaten and humiliate their friends.

Teach children that winning at the cost of hurting others and losing friends is worthless.

Also, as a parent, do not over-admire and approve of children, as this will lead to extreme narcissism. If your child behaves selfishly, tell him or her that his or her selfish behavior and behavior is not right.

End of message /

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