“Married students” should not be expelled / Separating single schools from married ones is harming married girls

Family group:Why the expulsion and even quarantine of married students in schools by school staff is one of the serious questions and demands of female students. It is a question for them in the years when the freedom of boy-girl relations is fully observed and even many families do not have a problem even though their child is friends with the opposite sex. Why should only “marriage” and legal and religious communication impose serious restrictions on them? So much so that they are deprived of even normal education? For this purpose, a campaign with the same subject has been carried out in my Fars system, which requests the education authorities to prevent the expulsion and quarantine of married students.

On the same pretext, we talked to Hojjatoleslam “Mohammad Reza Javan Arasteh”, a family and adolescent counselor.

In the past, married students were expelled from school and it was said that it was not good to sit next to single students and that the words exchanged between them might not be appropriate. Do you think that was a wise decision? Does this law work right now? Is it really harmful to have a married and single student together at this time?

I must say that I do not know whether this law was right or wrong on the first day of its adoption. That is, one must first sit down and look at each of the reasons and documents for which the legislature has passed the law; It can then say whether it was an acceptable law on the day it was passed. We have good suspicions. I myself have good doubts about the legislative structure. So if I had to choose between accepting this law on the day it was passed and not accepting it, at least I would accept that it was probably a good law at the time.

Now, do we have the right to challenge the law with today’s conditions? Yes, we have this right because the law is not a revelation and is subject to conditions, and when conditions and times change, we can ask the legislator to review the law as well. This in itself is a legal opportunity.

What I see is the characteristics of a modern-day adolescent, our religious values, and the general cultural approaches of society; Mechanisms related to adolescents and young people should facilitate marriage and family formation. This is very important. So if there is a law or a must in society that is delaying marriage, or humiliating marriage, or threatening people with marriage, or making marriage difficult, it is a law that I describe it as inappropriate law in today’s conditions and I can even say that it is against the values ​​and goals of Sharia. Now, a law that wants to scare a teenage girl who is in the first or second year of high school into marriage is not a good law.

What about trauma?

Another point that one of the concerns of the legislator may have been was that by marrying this person, he might challenge the educational process of the rest of his classmates. Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like it aint for me either. That is, today there are more and more problems, more and more strange worries than the issue of marriage, facing a teenage girl, and there are issues in her cell phone and in her life that, ironically, maybe having a married friend will bring our single teenager to peace. To win. That is, it is not only harmful, but also somewhat soothing.

Some people believe that well, separate schools for married and single people, and for married students to sit in a class with people like themselves, who, of course, also have night and adult schools. What do you think about this? Should they separate or sit together like a married and single university?

Separation must have a reason. I mean, what are you separating for? It does not matter if someone is married or not. Sometimes a person sees a consequence and says through it: “Oh! “This person has some consequence. Does being with him cause something?” So we have to separate. Then you have to see how people look at it.

Separating married girls from unmarried ones is practically harming married girls. You know, night schools are never the same as day schools. On the other hand, you know that many parents are trying to enroll their children in specific, good or special schools; Whether governmental or non-governmental. Now you limit and say no, this school is only for children who are not married and send married people elsewhere. This means deprivation. Under normal circumstances, deprivation is cruel. That is, we should be as compassionate and concerned about our own married children as we are about our compassionate children. They have not contracted a strange disease that requires quarantine and separation. Any separation that is to the detriment of married children is unfair behavior and unfair behavior cannot be tolerated.

Do you think the identity of a married student should be kept secret at school? Because many school principals accept a married student in such a way that no one knows about his marriage?

There is a time to discuss what we know best, there is a time to talk about the real situation. That is, what should be done right now and with the current situation? Whether it should be hidden or not, I do not think it should be hidden. But on the other hand, the girl who got married definitely has to do something. That is, he should talk to her, justify her, and ask her to control her behavior. Manage his conversations with his friends. This means that he is now an adult who can be a member of a family. We take him seriously. So one can expect an adult from him and in a conversation explain to him what he should and should not say about himself.

Some families form a majority at school and say we do not want our daughter to sit next to a married student in class. And under the pressure of those families, married girls are quarantined. What do you think about this?

No one has the right to say that my daughter should not sit next to a married girl. He can say I do not want my daughter to be a classmate with a married man, so I take her out of school.

If someone says I do not want my daughter to sit in the same class with a married girl and I want to stay in this school, then expel her, she has no such right.

In fact, he is losing the right to use himself for another. Yes, you have the right to where your daughter is and if she is not suitable, you can take her. But you can not change the people here to suit your daughter.

One of the problems for married girls in non-profit schools is that because the families run the school with their tuition and the principal is subordinate to them, the smoke was gone in the eyes of these married girls.

Well, this is no longer the legislator’s problem. Because those families may later say that our school is in a certain city, these two children have come from the city and we do not want the city child to be in our children’s school. This means that if you consider this chapter acceptable, the majority may object to anything. That can not be.

Is it correct to say that a student should wait to go to university and then get married and remain a candidate and not be registered in the birth certificate, or that they want each other to wait a year for my daughter’s daughter to finish her studies?

No, this is completely wrong. What a rush to me! It must be in a hurry! Why should we say why are you in a hurry to get married now? who said? When he and his family have decided that it is time for him to get married and he has chosen a suitable wife for him, the sooner he gets married, the better. They have the conditions, they must have taken into account their family and cultural considerations. Who am I to say why are you married now? No one has the right to say.

Some people say that you should become a Muharram, but do not register so that you do not get into trouble.

To say no or not to do so is still an invasion of family privacy. That is, if the child’s child enters into a marriage contract with someone, the girl’s mother herself is ready to say, “Now she does not want to register now?” It never does. He says it should be legalized faster. The name is on my baby and therefore should be legalized, specified and referenced as soon as possible. Nothing can be imposed on a family from outside. If the behavior is against the law, it is different because it is against the law, but if the behavior is not against the law, we can not say do it, do not do it. The law leaves these to the family and does not come to the side and say that I do not want a girl to marry in high school. This is also important. All this is to impose and on the one hand fall on the canvas for the benefit of a number of families. In fact, we are losing the right of one side and we have to see the other side of the canvas as well.

What would you say if you wanted to summarize about this?

In my opinion, the most important thing now is the legislator. This means that the legislator must now review this law. In fact, the pressure of the law should be removed from the shoulders of the one who promotes marriage, who got married early and marriage is a value for him. The law’s duty is to protect this value, but here it is moving against value. So first is the issue of law.

The second is the school principal. Because the law leaves the issue to the manager, I think the manager should act maturely. The easiest thing to do is to remove the married student, but not the best and most mature behavior. The principal is responsible for each and every one of his students. Not because of money, but because he is a manager and has agreed to handle these decisions. He cannot say that I am violating the rights of another student because of this student. He can not say that. Therefore, the manager must also perform mature behavior.

End of message /