The auction of girls’ lives/courtship period does not need to be classified – Mehr news agency Iran and world’s news
Mehr news agency _ Department of culture and literature: Hojjat-ul-Islam wal-Muslimeen Ali Akbar Mazaheri Isfahani, professor of the seminary and university, family counselor and author of books such as “Shiew Shahriari”, “Young people and choosing a wife”, “Family culture”, “From the depths of Hajj” and the translator of the noble text of Nahj al-Balagha in a note to be published Provided to Mehr, it deals with a strange cultural dilemma that has caused the future of some girls to be bleak.
Read this note below;
The kind of separation that I am writing now, you may find it strange: Is this divorce, legal or illegal? You are right. No one has called this separation a divorce. It is not called divorce in law and sharia. So why do we call it divorce? Follow us carefully to see what the issue is: in Islam and in Iranian civil law, we have two types of marriage contracts; permanent and temporary No more, no less. These two marriages are both legal and Shariah.
But the topic of this article: In our society, there is an unfair formality that: some families (I wish there weren’t many of them!), in the courtship stage, before going through the courtship process, they make the girl marry the boy temporarily and call it “intimacy contract”. , so that the girl and the boy know each other well and if they reach an agreement and everything is fine, they can read the permanent marriage.
Our question: How many of these temporary marriages do not lead to a permanent marriage and the boy and girl are separated? fifty percent? fewer? More? After this marriage, how will the girls feel? When the girl or the boy or the families, for any reason, do not reach a positive result and the girl remains single, what happens to her? look:
Courtship and temporary contract in the language of the consultant: A girl asked: I am an 18-year-old girl. We have reached an understanding with the suitor who came to me and with his family, but the point that caused the disagreement is that our family believes that we should enter into a temporary marriage for a few months and then make a permanent marriage, but they are against it. Do you approve of marriage without engagement? Which is the right thing to do?
Our answer: We are sorry that in our society and among some families, it has become a custom to force the girl into a temporary marriage without any necessity, which in many cases causes serious or irreparable damages to the girl’s psyche and dignity. If this temporary marriage does not lead to a permanent marriage – which does not happen very often – the girl feels “divorced”; He feels that he was married and then divorced. This feeling hurts the girl. Another disadvantage of this temporary marriage is that what should we tell the next suitor who comes? Should the girl and her family tell the boy and his family that we already had a temporary marriage or not? If they say – which they should say – what will the son and his family think? And they may be suspicious. And if they don’t say it – which they shouldn’t say – it’s not morally right, and they’ll be stressed that they won’t find out later. And maybe they will find out later and there will be problems. So what to do? What is the correct way?
1. There is no need for them to become mahrams for meetings and conversations between boys and girls during courtship. Boys and girls are allowed to negotiate and meet in order to reach a conclusion. If they don’t get a positive result, the matter ends and the girl is not harmed. Telling this matchmaking to the next suitor will not cause any problem and will not raise the suspicion we mentioned. Every girl and boy may have some proposal, which is not wrong.
2. If the girl and boy and the families reach an agreement and go through the stages of courtship safely and reach a definitive agreement and there is no obstacle to marriage, they can make a permanent marriage and have a marriage period. That you asked: “Do you approve of marriage without engagement?” We say: Why marriage without engagement? Have this period with a permanent marriage, not a temporary marriage. We are speaking in the language of the people when we call this period “engagement period”. Otherwise, the name of this period is “marriage period”.
3. If the girl and boy and the families reached a definite agreement and set the foundation for the marriage and there was no obstacle or doubt for the marriage, then if they wanted to perform a permanent marriage in a certain time or holy place or a certain person, who is now accessible It is not possible to read the contract, it is possible to make a temporary contract until we reach that time or place or person and make a permanent contract. We emphasize that we approve a temporary contract that will lead to a permanent contract 100%.
End of speech: Now you know why we named this separation in temporary marriage as divorce; Unlawful crossing? Let’s act more wisely for our own happiness and that of our children.