The main problem of only children in adulthood / the disadvantages and merits of being an only child from a psychological point of view

Fars News Agency, Health Group: One child and the desire of parents to have fewer children is one of the factors that can lead the country to old age. According to some experts, the population growth of our country is on a razor’s edge and it is moving towards old age. While many parents are in favor of having only one child with various excuses, including economic problems and being too busy.

Samane Rezaei, child psychologist In an interview with the social reporter of Fars news agency, he said about people’s views on the single-child category: In the single-child category, everyone first pays attention to its merits. Generally, parents say that in terms of costs, having a single child is more affordable. Because it is possible to implement perfectionist ideas such as purchases, training and special facilities. In most cases, perfectionist parents choose an only child because they believe that their child should be alone to do whatever they like.

He said about the negative and positive points of being an only child: “One child has positive points as well.” When a person has more facilities, he will be able to grow more. But along with these advantages, there are also disadvantages. Yes, parents may support and finance a child better, but children’s psychological development happens when they have good playmates. In the eyes of children, having an only child is equal to not having a rival. In an only child, as a child has no competitors, he gets used to always having his say and his parents being subordinate to him. As the age of parents increases and the possibility of having children decreases, they become more anxious because they think to themselves that if their child gets into trouble and deviates for any reason, they will have no one left. So, unconsciously, parents show more flexibility towards this child and his demands and are satisfied sooner.

Only children are less creative

This psychologist said about the advantages of having several children: Children who are in single-child families, after they grow up and enter the society, expect the society to treat them like their parents. They think that everyone should like them and should pay attention to them, as a result, they find life more difficult and usually become sensitive and irritable children. They have less problem-solving and creativity skills, and in work and marriage issues, they usually have problems due to less flexibility. Of course, other factors also affect these characteristics. But children in multi-child families learn how to claim their rights and defend themselves by playing and fighting. They also learn to be patient and understand how to take turns.

Rezaei said about the effects of single parenthood on parents: In this matter, it is very important whether single parenthood was chosen by the parents or imposed on them due to medical conditions. When parents lose the possibility of having children after the first child, they become anxious and try to take a lot of care of that one child. They pay great attention to the child’s health and development. There is a possibility that in a single-child family, there will be coldness between husband and wife. Many times, because this child is under the microscope, parents have disagreements in the educational environment. One person is more lenient and requests not to be strict on the child, and if the other person is strict, then there is a difference in raising the child.

Feeling alone, the problem of only children in adulthood

He said about the good or bad category of having only one child: Every choice has its own sufferings. I try to be realistic and not see zeros and hundreds. In few cases, some families who have one child are better off at a young age; Because they can spend more time for themselves, but still those anxieties and worries arise in middle age and old age. In the psychology of aging, the more crowded the elderly are, the more secure they feel. Another point is that the problem of only children is in adulthood. The older we get, the more we need the help of others, and the only child bears all the responsibility of his middle-aged parents and feels lonely.

In response to the question of whether only one child has an effect on people’s maturity, the child psychologist said: only one child does not have a direct effect on maturity, but children’s early maturity is directly related to their nutrition. For example, being overweight causes early puberty, and only children usually have what they want available to them, and this only child equates to providing more services to the parents and the child being more lazy, and as a result, they may experience early puberty. If I have a selfish and single-minded child, at the time of puberty, if he is an only child, these conditions will intensify.

Having a child is not a factor to solve the problems of husband and wife!

Regarding the effect of having children in solving the problems of husband and wife in the family, Rezaei said: Some people think that the number of children brings more happiness to the family, but I don’t think so. Every family should decide how many children to have based on emotional, psychological and economic conditions. If there is tension between the parents and they are not compatible, they should not even have a child. If a family has a good emotional and financial ability, the higher number of children will give the family a sense of happiness over time. Having a child is not a factor to solve the problems of husband and wife. Some people tell troubled couples to have a baby now and the problems will be solved, but our experience proves otherwise.

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