Ways to communicate effectively with teens / What to do with a troubled teen?

Family group – Zohreh Saeedi: Children go through a period of childhood, with many physical and mental changes that parents may have forgotten about this period, while their children have now entered this period and are facing many problems in communicating with them. Are facing. Parents protest at this time that their children are rebellious or do not notice big or small, while these issues occur due to their mental and physical changes and are not in fact unusual.

Parents are aware of those who, through their study and experience, can better understand the period they have gone through in relation to their children and reach a good relationship with their children, so that children suffer from misguidance, inappropriate communication. Do not mess with bad friends and other issues.

Parents who have teenagers must first understand that their children have grown up, many problems arise from the fact that parents still think they have a two-year-old child, not someone who is going into adulthood. This adolescent has undergone mental, physical and emotional changes and needs to be properly understood. This teenager wants to be independent and has certain characteristics.

Adolescents in this period protest that their parents see them as a child and do not understand that they grew up and can do their own thing and decide for themselves, this disagreement leads to many problems for In order to be able to be intimate with your teenager and reduce your disagreements, it is better to pay attention to a few points.

A mother described remembering that her eldest son had suddenly changed from a polite child to a nervous and mischievous person, constantly frowning and grumbling and complaining about the situation. Her other child, who is sixteen years old, also talks constantly and is against anything. But her eighteen-year-old daughter is completely different from her two sons, and she is friendly, well-behaved, and clean and tidy.

Another point of this mother saying is that every child in adolescence is different from each other and each has a specific pattern, so it is not possible to give specific rules for each child, but in the field of intimate communication with children, a series of patterns can be Observed jointly:

** Eat together

Try to put aside all your laptops and cell phones while eating, and eat and talk at least a few times a week. If you can not eat together, sit down to have a cup of tea and talk.

“The important thing about social media is not what teens do when they are in it, but what they do not do when they are in it, and that includes spending time talking to their parents and siblings. they do not; Do what they need to do.

** Get involved with teen media

One of the problems for parents of this period is that they do not want to understand the differences, for example, that children are familiar with mobile phones, laptops and the Internet from adolescence, and these are the differences between the present and the past generation. Try to adjust to their world and ask questions about it.

** Watch a movie of their choice

Browse the websites they watch, sit next to them, and watch their favorite TV shows together. Successful parents are the ones who associate themselves with their children, not the ones who oppose the instrument and do their own thing and say we have the same old style!

The key is to gain an understanding of the images, programs, and media they see so that you can engage in conversations with them. The dialogue itself is important. Be careful not to simply ignore what they consume and receive. Ask them to think about the messages behind what they are watching.

Maybe if you pay attention to family and friendship parties, people will better communicate with teenagers who enter their world, even if you do not agree with your teenager in some areas, it is better to listen to their movies and music and comment on it. And then ask them to make the right choice in this regard. The kids are more disobedient during this period, and if you tell them outright that you do not like this type of music or movie or clothes, they will definitely go for it. So you have to have a better method in this field.

** Do not advise

The teenager is full of reluctant advice and listening. It may come to you, but the fact is that the advice is of no use in this period. You speak your mind in forms that are friendly and your experiences, even if the children are out of place, do not despair. Even if you see your child in the wrong place or the wrong way, do not blame him, try to bring him to you with good relations and assure him that everything is fine and the family is by his side.

** Do not impose your opinion and let him decide

One of the most important characteristics of adolescence is independence, so do not try to impose your opinion on him in any field, whether it is dressing, eating or having fun. In any case, you have gone through this period, do not say that you did not have these characteristics, if you behaved better, it was definitely because of your parents, so you try to respect him and his opinions and be kind to him.

But about the amount of freedom, you have to set rules for him, for example, what time he travels home, and if he makes mistakes, be patient so that he can pass this period easily.

If you have a troubled teenager, try to be more patient and understand him. As his first teachers, show him the right way to return to normal life. If he behaves rudely, control him and let him know that his behavior is wrong. Of course, not with formal speeches, but speaking at a convenient time without punishment and restrictions.

To control his anger and upset, it is better for you to be a little humorous and laugh and laugh. Do not ridicule him and appreciate his good deeds and achievements. Lastly, do not get tired and keep your energy because this period also passes and you can easily overcome problems and raise good children.