How do we damage the relationship between children? / Educational skills for several children

Family group: Raising a child in today’s world, like other things, has become harder and more difficult than in the past. Of course, maybe if our grandparents were there now, they would say that their work was not easy, but today, the world of technology and the Internet has made it harder for parents who do not raise their children alone. In other words, if parents do not get involved in many issues, cyberspace and friends will do it instead.

Raising multiple children has its own difficulties and requires more awareness than raising a single child. So if the parents do not pay attention to the children at the same time or neglect one, irreparable educational problems may happen to that child.

Few people have not had a fight with a sibling. In fights where halva is not good, one pulls his hair and the other screams and scratches his sister or brother’s face. We all have this experience, both as children, with our siblings, and as parents who have multiple children, so we understand this experience as skin, flesh, and bones, but there is one thing, and that too. Parents’ behavior with children’s fights.

Certainly parents who can not establish equality between children, manage the emotions and feelings between children and can not treat them the same, have given the first scratch to the future and life of their child. Maybe we now know adults who still remember their parents being unkind to them, withholding their love for their siblings somewhere, or comparing them to other children.

The first lesson in managing parental behavior toward other siblings is:

1- Do not compare children

It is very important to learn as a parent to recognize each child’s talents and abilities, to discover their weaknesses but not to compare them.

For example, a mother says: Your sister was much more intelligent when she was your age. He was very talkative.

Now, this mother may say this out of anger and sadness because of her child’s mischief, but it may arouse the child’s jealousy and anger, as well as increase his stubbornness. Maybe the mother will see more stubbornness from her child after saying this, and it is definitely due to her own stubbornness, because this child certainly does not understand in what mental state we said this, but he thinks that his mother loves him. Does not or that he prefers the sibling he has compared.

2. Never suggest that children get angry with each other

It is unkind that everyone accepts harassment for children, but that whenever they fight, tell them to be angry for their own comfort. In this way, issues weaken the relationship between children until adulthood.

You may have heard those around you say that some mother always makes peace between the children or some sedition. This is true, and it is quite clear between siblings who have a peaceful and good relationship in adulthood or those who have a weak and baseless relationship, and if you look among their parents, there are definitely parents who have this relationship. Encourage now both positive and negative.

So whenever you see that there is a fight between children and they are angry, try to encourage them to reconcile without direct intervention and make a bad taboo for them to be angry so that it does not become a habit for them.

Instead of being angry, suggest that they talk to each other when they are calm and apologize and kiss each other if they have made a mistake.

3. Do not encourage children to be violent

-Mom Ali hit me ..- You go and hit him!

This is a wrong word. That you acknowledge the child’s feelings and encourage him to be violent.

Instead of scolding him against his brother, it is better to say: -bDid you pick up your car? Are you upset now? Go talk to her and tell her how upset she is.

The best way, as mentioned earlier, is to encourage children to talk to each other after being upset or angry.

4. Do not judge too soon

Many times you may not see fights between children. Therefore, you should not decide once and accuse one person, even out of sadness and anger or crying of one of your children, you should not do this, but you should listen to the words of both parties and then decide.

So there are eye-to-eye, fights and rivalries between siblings. But it is your behavior that can make things better or worse.

Finally, parents who, no matter what happens between the children, parents who encourage children to bully for their own comfort, parents who do not treat their children the same, parents who treat their children Encourage violence, parents who do not approve of their children’s feelings, not only do not make the relationship between them, they make it worse, and these memories will remain in the children’s minds forever.

Now you can think to see if you are such a parent or not and how you behave in these situations?

End of message /

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