How to reduce the evil of “doubt” from living together? / “Doubt” is the hell of living together

Family group – Zohreh Saeedi: It has long been said that doubt and suspicion are the scourge of human life. In fact, a swamp or a desert where one does not get anywhere no matter where one goes. Yes, but sometimes this feeling of doubt stems from the inner insecurity of people and leads to the destruction of emotional life or it is severely injured and damaged.

People who are suspicious of those around them or their partners are in fact always in fear and panic, which constantly cultivates feelings of abandonment or humiliation and failure in them. We also hear from many people or they say in counseling sessions, in fact They know that there is nothing, but they are always in doubt and not their own hand. The phrase “it is not my own hand” has caught many pessimists and skeptics.

Suspicion and suspicion are crossing the balance and red line of people in cohabitation, in other words, it eats the foundations of cohabitation. Or chasing him to the point of feeling threatened in the company of strangers and relatives, not allowing his wife to go to work or anything else can manifest.

In Islam, it is strictly forbidden to influence the baseless and baseless assumptions of individuals, and human beings are asked not to judge it until they have found certainty and knowledge about the issues, because it is the foundation of harm. And that is the destruction of society. Imam Ali (AS) says: “Suspicion corrupts evil deeds and forces man to do ugly deeds.” Avoid many baseless suspicions.

In verse 12 of Sura cells is written: “O those who believe Ajtnbva Ksyra Alzn I surely some Alzn Sm Tjssva Vela Vela Yghtb Bzkm some Hdkm Yhb lodging it Yakl Bethlehem Khyh Fkrhtmvh Vatqva Mita Rahim Allah Allah repentant; O you who believe! Avoid many suspicions, some of which are sins, and do not spy, and some of you do not gossip. Do any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? “Fear God, for God is the Relenting, the Merciful.”

Suspicious people can not accept that they have negative feelings towards others and behave threateningly or humiliatingly towards others. These people are still distrustful of their spouse or others even if they are proven to be trusted by others. Mistakes and personalities of the behavior and actions of others and hurt others. Usually, the wives of these people are tired and suffering and in pain, and if they can, they choose to stay away from them.

But sometimes people ignore their spouse’s doubts out of ignorance. In this way, people can be taught how to reduce doubts in their lives. With the exception of people who are suspicious of their spouse in terms of illness, others can be brought to the right path in the right way so that their partner knows how to remove the shadow of doubt from their life.

1. Avoid telling some memories to your spouse

Sometimes there are memories in the past of people’s lives that may not be appropriate to describe to people who have some suspicion or doubt in their hearts. For example, there is a woman who has had suitors in the past, but her current husband does not feel good about them because of their great love or some misunderstandings. It is better not to share these memories with her husband. It is necessary.

2. Always be optimistic about your family and spouse

Promise can always gain people’s trust. It is better to be on time when you make an appointment with your spouse’s family and your spouse, and to avoid saying that there was traffic and problems and other issues. Draw others to you. Promise is always trustworthy.

3. Be honest

Sometimes in cohabitation, people do not tell each other things right, or go somewhere with friends or family, but hide from their spouse for any reason, which makes the spouse think that this person has always lied to him. Either he did not tell the truth or you bought it but did not raise it for no reason. Your spouse may think that you are always hiding while this was a simple occurrence in your mind.

Do not forget that important issues are always revealed. If you have a weakness in yourself or your family and you hid it during the marriage, know that one day your spouse and his family will understand it and there will be grounds for suspicion and mistrust towards you. .

4. Respect your spouse

Remember that respect builds a sense of trust if you always respect your spouse in all circumstances and do not allow anyone to destroy that respect because respect builds trust.

Prohibit communications that create pessimism

Some relationships should remain in the work environment. For example, you are not supposed to be at home. If you do not have to work, talk to your co-workers and create jealousy and suspicion. Do not observe many problems in their lives. It is better to be very careful and careful in dealing with colleagues of the opposite sex so that your spouse does not become suspicious when he / she sees these connections in cyberspace, while there is nothing to worry about, so do not create sensitivity in this regard.

A woman explained that her husband was very sensitive to his cell phone and constantly checked it when he came home from work. You do not have a background, your spouse’s sensitivity gradually decreases and it is time to explain to him that the mobile phone is a personal device and you and your spouse should observe these privacy. Of course, sometimes it happens that the spouses themselves provoke this sensitivity, for example. The gentleman goes to his wife’s phone for work and the lady reacts strongly to this. It is true that the mobile phone is privacy, but what is wrong with sometimes looking at the phone for work if the sensitivity is from If you are not created, your spouse will certainly not be guarded.

6. Reduce contact with jealous people

There are many people around us who may be jealous of us and our life together, so they do behaviors and actions that may have a negative effect on our lives. If we are careful, there are such people around each of us. Limit contact with these people so that your life together is not harmed or negatively affected.

Finally, the fact that many people may have suffered from distrust of their past and family life, so they transmit this insecurity to their life together, is where the role of counselor and psychotherapist is highlighted and couples need to be treated and repaired. Take action on their spouse’s wounds. Communication and conversation skills need to be strengthened so that these problems are not passed on to children and do not disrupt cohabitation.

End of message /