In the issue of marriage, we cannot bypass the traditional interactions of Iranian society – Mehr News Agency Iran and world’s news
Mehr News Agency – Department of Religion and Thought – Nagar Ahadpur, Aghblag: Our country, like many countries in the world, is transitioning from a traditional to an industrial and modern society, and this transition, anyway, will lead to changes that will be inevitable. Among others, we can mention a series of transformations in individual and social lifestyle, and as an example, the change in the attitude of families and young people regarding the style of marriage. While in the past, young people were faced with few options of marriage methods and followed the same traditional routine, today’s young people are faced with many and different options. Therefore, they constantly ask themselves or experts which method is better; Traditional or modern method? Therefore, in order to examine the harms, disadvantages and advantages of each of the two traditional and modern methods of marriage, with Zahra Mirzaei; Researcher and PhD in Women’s Studies We had a conversation, the details of which can be seen below.
Zahra Mirzaei; In an interview with Mehr news agency, the researcher and doctorate in women’s studies, pointing out that we are currently in a state of transition from a traditional to a modern lifestyle, said: Our society today, due to the expansion of the style of social interactions and various social networks, It is neither completely traditional nor is it considered a modern society. Today in our society, there is a traditional interaction in which the role and position of the family and parents is still significant but different from the past, as in the whole world there is still the position of the family with its different forms and in our society the biggest The institution of socialization and emotional and economic support of people is the family.
In this regard, he added: We cannot claim that adherence to the traditional style of marriage and family formation will protect and prevent further damage in the relationship between couples, and it should also be noted, by pushing families and advising them to support and welcome In the modern style of marriage, the influence of elders will fade.
Mirzaei clarified: because when two parties meet and marry in the modern style as we see in today’s society, they tend to spend the rest of their lives together, but it should be noted that after the relationship subsides The initial excitement and the initial days of the relationship, we will find that around 70-80 people are like their families, except for rare cases that may occur and when two parties start their life together with a familiar relationship, or a large amount of Interactions are faced with the other party’s family and they just find out that their other party’s personality, lifestyle, interactions and moral characteristics are greatly influenced by the person’s family, and this may not be acceptable to the person, so the family is extremely influential.
We cannot claim that adherence to the traditional style of marriage and family formation will protect and prevent further damage in the relationship between couples, and it should also be noted that by pushing families and advising them to support and welcome the modern style in marriage, The influence of elders will fade
Iran’s traditional society is in transition
This researcher in the field of women said: It should be noted that the culture of our society is influenced by the religion of Islam, and in the religion of Islam, there is a very correct emphasis on a greater place in the formation of the family as an influential legal institution, such as the father of the daughter, which is as long as the signature And not his approval. It seems that the institution of the family is not formed especially in the first marriage of the woman, it is an influence that prevents many emotional mistakes of young people. The family, as an arbitration institution, is also effective in preventing the consequences of emotional mistakes and wrong decisions of young people in times of disputes and challenges.
Emphasizing the role of the family in the marriage of young Iranians, he said: In our culture and according to the lifestyle of the society, we cannot ignore the traditional interactions of the Iranian society. But the important thing is that in that traditional style. Apart from the Islamic culture that says, the opinion of a girl and a boy is very important, and marriage should not be forced, and such a marriage is invalid. In the traditional culture and in some cases, we have seen that the opinion of the couple and the girl and the boy did not have much dignity for marriage, and today we can no longer adhere to this issue.
In traditional marriage, the point of reference is the opinion of parents and elders
Mirzaei went on to say: Considering that today in our society, families are governed in a nuclear way, and there are fewer extended families compared to the past, and people make their own decisions for a dignified life and live independently, it is very important for boys and girls to know have enough of each other and be companionable and empathetic, in addition to respecting the opinion of both parties, therefore, in addition to maintaining the position of parents and family, in order to experience a successful marriage and life, one must have behavioral diversity He also respected the taste and personality of both sides.
A girl and a boy knowing each other is effective in the success of marriage
This researcher in the field of women said: In traditional marriages, families are usually the main focus, not boys and girls. In the past, the young people of each family were mostly present in their families; Businesses were run in families, marriages took place in families, people were confined to their family community and their town and had no experience of the outside and completely different world. But in today’s society, with the expansion of online social platforms, the presence of more young people in various social groups such as friendship groups, workplaces, universities and schools, group trips, cultural gatherings (watching movies, theater, reading books, critical courses, etc.), access Easier to books, podcasts, lectures and articles, young people begin to form an independent identity for themselves. An identity that may be completely different or even opposite to their family background. They may have different values, interests and goals. Therefore, knowing a family does not necessarily lead to correctly knowing the daughter or son of that family.
In modern dating style, you should not cross the boundaries
Referring to the common interactions in Iranian society today with the aim of marriage, this women’s activist clarified: Regarding the fact that the circle of people’s interactions for the purpose of marriage is wide, it is good in its own way, but that a person engages in numerous and unbridled interactions, which unfortunately, this style It is a common behavior in today’s society, it should be noted that if people or diverse associations even with the intention of marriage and in the modern style of dating before marriage, this issue causes fatigue of the person’s mind and may lead him away from the right and healthy choice. In a way, a person will be unable to make a right choice with the variety of associations for marriage, one of the reasons why it is necessary to pay attention to the role of mediators in this, this is the fact that the mediator first pays attention to the person’s family and in case of mutual agreement And two families being on the same level, people are introduced to each other, in this case, people do not enter into an emotional relationship that will lead to failure, distance and unfulfillment of marriage.
He further added: Paying attention to the social framework, modesty and chastity in social relationships, and passing through various superficial relationships that may be done even with the purpose of getting to know each other and with the intention of marriage, help to calm people’s minds in their joint life and success in marriage. he does.