The importance of recognizing the inherent differences of couples in the first years of cohabitation – Mehr News Agency | Iran and world’s news
“What everyone is aware of is the physical differences between men and women that are not hidden from anyone, but these differences are due to The body is not limited, and it exists in the mindset, psyche, and gaze of both sexes.
He added: “Ignoring some of the differences between men and women causes differences and discomfort between couples.” Therefore, if we are not aware of these differences, we will not notice the expression of love for our spouse, we will feel lonely and lack of attention and love will cause us to become cold towards life or interpret our love message differently when our spouse loves us. And our misjudgment causes misunderstanding and conflict in the family, so recognizing these differences is essential for any couple.
Chaman Ara continued: The first issue we address is the intensity of love at the beginning of a relationship. At the beginning of a relationship, when a girl and a boy are just laying the foundations of cohabitation, the intensity of love is much higher in men than in women. , And if he is not aware of this difference, this cold may cause discomfort and resentment and appear in the place of cohabitation.
He added: “In order not to turn the sweetness of the relationship into bitterness, it is necessary for both sexes to be aware that this difference is normal in the expression of emotions and can not be a sign of frustration and lack of interest, and both try to reduce the consequences of this difference.” . Determine a period of time when, to what extent, and in what way they should love and express love for each other so that by balancing the expression of interests, this difference does not cause a coldness in their relationship.
The family counselor emphasized: “Another difference in this area is the difference in the place of love in the brain.” In men, the place of expression of feelings and love is on the right side of the brain, and in women, it is in the whole brain, and this difference causes men to be stubborn in many things, and because of this stubbornness, women think that there is no love in their husbands.
He continued: “When men are on the left side of their brain and the left side of their brain is active, which is usually when they are doing something, they do not show any love, but women who have love on both sides of their brain, the emotion in Everything is involved. Although they enjoy themselves, this behavior is very upsetting for the man and will make him angry, and usually men complain that women everywhere are involved in emotion and make emotional decisions.
“To manage this difference, it is better for couples to know this rule and to know the consequences of these differences,” Chamanara said. It is better for women to express love and affection in appropriate situations where the man is not doing a particular job or is not preoccupied and mentally engaged, and men should try to fill their husband’s container of love with love so that he can use this excuse and lack of this feeling of loss. Do not generalize love throughout life.
He continued: “One of the other differences that cause the couple not to understand and accompany each other is the difference in the geometric location at the time of making love.” In order for our message of love to reach our husband and he to receive love, it is necessary for women to be on the right side of men when talking and expressing love. When a woman stands in front of a man and expresses love, instead of activating the right hemisphere of her brain, which is the place of love, the left hemisphere is activated, and the man takes more logic and deals with logic instead of love.
Chaman Ara said: “You should know that women like to stand in front of their husbands when talking and having a romantic relationship, and if you are not facing him when talking to a woman, the message will be conveyed to her that you do not pay attention to the issue and do not care what she says.” , So couples need to pay attention to this point and act.
The family counselor referred to the issue of having a child in the family and added: “Having a child is one of the differences and challenges that couples face.” When a child is born, the expression of love in the man decreases. The man’s sexual desire decreases a lot and because of this, the desire and desire for a relationship decreases in him.
He continued: “But in women, the birth of a child expresses more love and affection and their need for attention increases.” At this time, women become more sensitive and fragile, they feel that their body has become unattractive due to the changes it has made, and this is the reason for the decrease in sexual desire in their husband. He thinks that his wife wanted him for the sake of the child, and now that he has done what he wants, her attention has diminished and she no longer loves him as she used to. And sometimes some women, seeing the decrease in their husbands’ sexual desire, think that they have been betrayed and that their husband is in a relationship with another person.
Chaman Ara said: “In order for this difference not to cause problems, and considering the sensitive spirit of women in these conditions and in order not to suffer from postpartum depression, it is necessary for both of them to know this rule well and try new changes in life.” Do not create a gap between them. Be sure to spend time during the day and week to express love and have a plan and try to talk more with each other.