5 Common Mistakes of Couples in Marital Life

Life group: Sometimes some behaviors Mistakes in married life cause the emotional relationship between a man and a woman to cool down. If couples can take steps to improve relationships and fix these mistakes, they will definitely have a better life.

Some of these mistakes are rooted in people’s childhood. When we are exposed to emotional neglect as children, that is, our emotional needs are not met by our parents, it becomes much harder for us to resolve the emotional challenges of the relationship.

We are unfamiliar with the emotional trauma of our childhood, so in adulthood we either hide it or do not recognize it as an important issue or, conversely, have no control over it.

In this report, we talk about 5 common mistakes of couples that are rooted in the emotional neglect of their childhood:

1. Avoid the problem

We explain with an example:

For some time now, you have felt that your spouse does not spend time with you as usual, but you say in your mind, “This problem is not serious and important at all! That it’s not worth it, engage our minds for it! “Let time pass, it will be right!”

All of these sentences are examples of avoidance. Sometimes we do not open the problem because we are afraid of what is behind the problem. We are afraid of facing emotions and the inability to resolve them. We are getting more and more distant from our spouse day by day.

2. My feelings may be wrong!

For example, you have been feeling insecure in your relationship for a while, you feel that something is out of place, but you do not know exactly what! You say to yourself: Let go! Just tired! Kids playing in Nyar! It may not be like this at all. You are sensitive!

All these sentences mean “My feelings are not worth paying and being seen, so I will not express it at all.”

3. What does he think of me if I talk?

For example, you have just had a baby and you are worried that your spouse will find more attention and love for your child. You say to yourself, “If I say this, he will think I am lazy! “He thinks I’m jealous!”

“He thinks how much he needed and I think short! Or he thinks I do not like my own child! “She thinks I regretted having children.”

All of these statements mean that you consider a thought “that may be completely wrong” more important than your own feelings, and you censor yourself for it.

4. Extreme generalizations of “always, never, never”

For example, your spouse has been busy for some time and you are thinking to yourself:

“Then I definitely do not love you anymore! “He is betraying.”

“It never mattered to me!” The thought of his own life »

All of these statements mean that you do not share your thoughts and feelings with each other, and as a result you make extreme conclusions over time without hearing the other person speak.

5. Extreme focus on logic

One way of not dealing with emotions is to overemphasize the logical aspects of an issue. For example, you may be upset about your spouse’s criticism of your appearance, but your spouse may respond by saying, “We got married, and commenting on this appearance of yours means that you can be better, not that you are not good now. . “We are not children and this is not upsetting. Tell me, I am not upset.”

** What should be done to solve this issue?

In general, a few points can be helpful in this regard:

1. Talk

First, according to psychologists, couples should clearly express their desires, expectations, and annoyances in life. If you expect problems to be resolved, you should talk to each other and allow your spouse to talk and express himself or herself. People need to talk to each other to create intimacy and comfort in communication. Couples need to articulate their wants, needs, and feelings clearly, expressing what makes them happy, what makes them sad, or what they want from the other person.

2. Do not threaten to end the relationship

Another point is to be committed to the relationship, that despite all the problems, you should be committed to your marriage and your spouse, and you should not threaten to end the relationship in any problem, because this will eventually cause the person to suppress his feelings and words, and they Do not raise.

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