Reconciling is the salt of life, not fighting! / Ways to make amends and appease

group Life: Until the 1970s and 1980s, psychologists and counselors said that if a marriage lasted three years, the chances of divorce and separation would be much lower in the coming years. This number has increased slightly due to the cultural and social conditions of the day and has reached 5 years. In these first few years of living together, it is very important to know how to manage arguments and disagreements so that the work does not lead to annoyance, heartbreak and anger. On the other hand, if there is a dispute and disappointment, how should it be managed so that, as the famous saying goes, it does not stretch or reconcile and achieves peace and tranquility?

بی Respectfully Never!

The first step is to prevent quarrels and violence as much as possible. Let’s argue, let’s talk, but we do not want to force our opinion and debate into a chair. Bullying and irrational arguments are often accompanied by annoyance and insults. The tone of voice rises. Anger, like blood, takes hold of one’s eyes and logic and becomes what it should not be! We come to ourselves and I see that suddenly we have said things that we should not! We have destroyed bridges that are really difficult to rebuild.

It is better to be silent

After this stage, we usually refuse to fall short of our position to say that we are right, we make a second and worse mistake; We defend the behaviors we had, even unjustly! Unfortunately, sometimes we try to blame ourselves, or at least part of it, on the other party, or to say: You wanted to not start! And unfortunately such sentences. The second vital step in repairing a lost relationship is not to commit all of these behaviors. That is, even if we are not ready to apologize and reconcile, at least do not make matters worse. Let us be silent but do not distance ourselves. Do not think that all the bridges are broken and this relationship is no longer useful / I am a woman and I want to be thin, I should not shrink myself / I am a man, I should not break my grandeur and … These clichés are the killer sentences of the life together.

Also try the description of this guide …

The golden opportunity of reconciliation

72 hours after any argument is the best opportunity to apologize, reconcile and make amends, however, if the person is not prepared or mature, the worst time! How about Usually time solves part of the story. In other words, the other party, in his internal conversation and review with himself, in a few moments, honestly reviews his mistake and his share in this discussion and accepts that this is why the so-called short comes. When reconcilers come, he accepts better. But after 72 hours, things get a little harder because the distance is too cold, the logic lights go out, the heart is broken, it gets broken, and it gets harder to reconcile.

The condition for success in this step is that instead of checking the video to find out who was to blame? And let us take the vicious circle to prove our innocence, including loving, small gifts, and kindness to reconciliation, especially if we have a greater share in the affair. Reconciling with mantra only makes matters worse and discourages the other party from accepting our possible benevolence and apologies in the future.

I will become a lawyer myself

The fourth step should be taken at the first opportunity after the reconciliation and it is usually better to be a few hours and not immediately. Let’s review together the solutions that could have helped us not to move forward at this stage. Let’s talk about the negative feelings that arose in us, about the perception we had of our spouse’s words that made our time bitter. At the same time, we must admit our mistake. The golden point in taking this step is not to speak at the same time at all, to accept the goodwill and honesty of the other party in the explanations he offers. Let us hear what he has to say, not as a wife but as an adult and a lawyer. Although it is difficult for us at that moment, but to defend his right, even if it is difficult to speak. Strengthening the view that we put ourselves in the place of the other party is extremely useful and a great blessing for the durability and consistency of cohabitation.

Not applicable everywhere

This trick of being a “lawyer” should not be used everywhere and is only for our own relationships. For example, in family gatherings, when there is an argument, we should not act like Batman and his lawyer and defend our spouse, especially against his own family. This severely destroys our relations and position. We must accept that he is a wise and mature person and he must be able to support and defend himself and the right, let alone …

Bookmark our mistakes
The fifth step is to take notes on our strengths and weaknesses in this family discussion. For the other side, write down the strengths so that we remember well and the possibility of forgetting it is eliminated. Taking note of these tips actually helps to reduce the likelihood of a repeat error at a later time. Writing increases the coefficient of remembrance, so it was said to write our own strengths and weaknesses and only the strengths of the other party, because writing his weaknesses and negatives and remembering it is useless. We are not going to be confused with these idiots.

He is not cowardly, he is kind

Fighting takes place in cohabitation, the one who takes the initiative for reconciliation is not weak! Having the courage to admit one’s mistake and try to make up for the mistake, even if he is not guilty and has not taken the initiative again, is dependent and helpless. He is a hero who has done well. In any situation, we should appreciate and respect each other. Reconciliations should be an excuse for us not to fight anymore, not to fight constantly under the pretext that we are reconciling. It disappears forever. Let’s not argue as much as possible, this is the easiest and at the same time the most difficult way to maintain the glory and intimacy of life.

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