Working mother or housewife; Which is the priority ?!

Family group: All mothers are employed, whether the mother is a housewife or a mother who has a home and works outside the home. Working outside the home is no longer just a choice these days and is sometimes considered compulsive, but what can be done to balance work-life and motherhood, or work-life balance?

Most women spend some time studying or getting a job. People can have different choices. They may want to be a full-time mother, which is a full-fledged and respectable job, and they may also want to keep their extracurricular activities after having children, in addition to motherhood and housekeeping. And make progress in it.

But the question is what can be done to minimize the harm to children. Therefore, the audience of this report can be both those who are currently employed and have recently had children and are involved in the issue of whether to return to work or not, and those who do not have children and intend to have children, and their question is whether to have children again. Should they return to their jobs or not?

** The first 2 years of childhood are sensitive attachment times

The first recommendation is for mothers to know that the first two years of life are a critical time for children to develop secure attachments. The best and most ideal option is for the child to spend the first two years of life completely with the mother as the first pattern of attachment, and the mother is not employed at that time, and the time she spends with her child is more than housework.

But if this is not possible and the mother has to return to work after maternity leave, then what should be done?

** Be with your child continuously for 6 to 9 months

If it is not possible for your child to return to work in the first two years of life, another recommendation is to spend the first six months of your child’s life with him or her completely without returning to work. Usually six months to nine months for maternity leave in Iran is provided for working mothers.

Of course, it is recommended that in the first two years, if you are able to take your baby to work “after six months to nine months”, do so. Are intended for mothers. Check this option.

** Correct thoughts for children’s attachment

The third point is to know that going back to work outside the home means accepting that you need to be more careful about separation anxiety and the safety of your child’s attachment. Accepting that you will have challenges is the first step to being on the path of balance.

So accept that being a mom and working outside the home poses challenges for me, but I am aware, I get help, and I think about solutions. Not to say, “All these people work and the water does not move and nothing happens.”

** Strategies to achieve balance

The most important thing in keeping your child away from you is to be careful not to leave the child to multiple people. Your child needs stability more than anything else in your absence. The best option for caring for a child after the mother is the father, but if both parents are employed and it is not possible for them, it is better to choose a reliable fixed option and your child Do not jump to multiple people.

A working woman suggested that her husband worked the morning shift and he did the evening shift, so the children would sometimes argue and get to work.

But another issue in this regard is that the option of kindergarten, according to researchers, is not recommended for children under three years, but if there is no option other than kindergarten or nurse, be extremely careful about choosing a kindergarten to avoid problems and injuries. Do not go to kindergarten. This topic itself requires a separate article.

Many women with children in Corona these days are working at home, those whose job requires, can work at home with the coordination of their managers, although it has its own challenges, but still better than Separation and separation from children, while with the approval of the government, many women with children are engaged in telework during this period.

Another point to know is that if you are going to return to work in the coming months, it is best to choose the person you want to leave the child with so that your child can see enough of you before you return to work. Form a central attachment relationship with him.

** Focus more on the quality of communication

Working women, to compensate for the quantity of your relationship with your child, you should focus more on the quality of communication, that is, the hours you spend with your child “before or after work”, holidays and bedtime with the child, play with each other and activity. Pay interest to the child.

It is important to be deeply present, not to work with mobile phones, not to do housework, and only then devote your mind to your child.

** Get help for your child’s separation anxiety

Practice temporary separation through play for a few months before returning to work. Never leave your child without saying goodbye. Going back to work can be the beginning of separation anxiety for your child. The first step is awareness. Be aware of these anxieties and strategies, so read on and be sensitive to the symptoms so that you can seek help from a therapist if you see symptoms in your child.

We will talk about separation anxiety in another report.

** Manage negative emotions

Finally, going back to work is not an easy decision for the mother. You may miss your child or feel guilty about why you are not with him. And … manage it, but if these emotions negatively affect the quality of your relationship with your child, be sure to seek help from an individual therapist.

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